I love Facebook!! I never thought I would say that because for the longest time My space was my addition. But, facebook is so much better. OK, so I'm spending a couple of minutes online going through suggestions of people that I would know. I hadn't looked in a very long time. I ended up finding alot of people from High school. Everybody looks about the same, that's if they took care themselves. You can the people that didn't. Alot of the guys are still single. And alot of the women that were really popular, all have kids but no man. And from the ages of the kids, they had to have them about 2 years after H.S. Some look sad, some still look as fake as they were back then. I wonder why I feel compelled to reach out and send a friend request. Sometimes, I feel I was misunderstood in H.S., like if people would of given me a chance they would of had a solid friend.
I like to think if that would of happened I would of been stretched to thin, and I wouldn't be who I am today. I'm sure theirs a reason why I wasn't acccepted in the crowd. I still don't really know till this day. But, why would I even want to go back to those days.
Things are different now, I'm different. Sure, I don't have a fancy degree to show off and have lots of money. But, I have a wonderful husband and beautiful baby boy. And I have a stable job with pretty good income. I think I'm average, just like I considered myself in HS. But, only now I'm older and certainly not the same girl that walked into a building insecure and sorta depressed. Just like any teenager, I had my ups and downs. I'd like to think that I've grown in the last 10 years. I can't believe it will be 10 years in June since graduation!
A little tid bit, while in school. I had a huge crush on a guy named Dustin. Cynthia knows all about it. She watched me pine over him on her bus, when I would come over to her house. Anyways, I was surprised to find out he accepted my friend request? do I really care. I mean I'm married now. And, happy at that. What do I care. It's more to prove to myself, even if it's late that I can say hey I'm not pining over you, but hey lets be friends.
Erik has so many girls that he's friends with it doesn't bug me one bit. However, I know he wonders why I don't have any guys friends. I have some at work I talk to. But, it's small talk. I find no reason to talk to them about my personal life in detail, like I do with my girlfriends, as I'm sure they feel the same way.
So, I ask myself should I say anything to any of these people? And what the heck would I even say. Some of them I haven't ever really spoke to? I know that more than likely none of them will respond and if any of them do I would be shocked. So, do I call it good that they accepted my friend request and just know of them? Why is it no matter how many years pass I start to feel a little insecure. I'm just curious what there thoughts are on things, I just like to talk. Not that I really time for alot of talking or hanging out. I'm sure that I'm just over anayzling again.
Maybe its just that you want to know that you weren't as insignificant there in HS as you thought you were. Or maybe its just that you want to show off how good your life is now and see how terrible their lives are now. :) Either way, I wouldn't worry too much about if they respond back to a message or not, if they are the same people who shunned the "uncool" in HS then they aren't worth your time anyway.
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