Hard Times Ahead!

I know that this may not seem like a big deal but, our cable is going away. Erik thinks maybe in a year we can get back but right now we have to save all the money we can. Hayden's diapers, formula and daycare is really adding up. Plus, with our bankruptcy we have no way out. We make a pretty good salary combined and we can't afford anything. It's depressing, oh and Erik was doing research because he remember after making payments for almost 2.5 years our payment would go up automatically it will be nearly 1,000 a month!!! This payment goes up in January. Because, why you ask my car payments go away, so they will increase the payment. Doesn't mean we get out of it before 5 years, just means were really broke. Also, they don't care about us furthering education. As, I feared it comes down to paying them the money. WE were told if we wanted a family we could recaluate our financies. But the resistance we got from them on it now, Is that isn't our problem we decided to have a baby. Which in turn has made me overly upset and frustrated with the situation. I can't even begin to tell you the disappointment and fear I have. Erik and I both need to have priorities straight. I felt I was already doing that but I wasn't putting my foot down with Erik on things. So there for I failed. I let him get whatever new toy. Am I to late to turn it around? Erik and I bought a really nice Blue Ray DVD player with theather system. But, were returning it now. WE need to have that money to survive. And, I just think this is crazy, Erik thinks we can go to Hawaii next year, and he refuses to see what's right in front of us. I'm mad at him for getting us into this situation. It's embarrassing I can't even go grab a bite with my friends. Erik did cancel his stuff for Friday, because the reality is that I can't eat anywhere, and I tried to get together with Rachel. But, that's not going to happen. The thing is not only did I get so stressed and upset last night on the verge of tears that I am officially sick again, it started with a sore throat and has not started crap in my lungs, coughing, runny nose and so congestioned!
All I can do is move forward, I have to be more strict on Erik because he does it to me why am I not saying no to him? Partly because he does the budget/bills I told him that I wanted to see everything going on, I want to do it together every Saturday, and I don't want us spending money that we really don't have. I told him I'm tired of living this way. HE's so irresponsible with money, and I have to put a stop to it.